“We feel regretful because God has enlightened our souls”

Dear Brother,
I’m going to write my personal thoughts on your situation.

I truly believe that what you are going through at the moment is in fact the process of repentance. Let me explain. When we feel regret, remorse & shame upon any sins we have committed, it is a signal in our heart, from God, which seeks to guide us back to the straight path. We feel regretful because God has enlightened our souls, our conscience, so that we don’t accept the sin upon ourselves; because such sins are outside of our true nature of seeking all that is pure and good. So when we feel the regret, please know that it’s God’s way of guiding your soul, in order to seek his forgiveness. The pain felt is actually part of the repentance process. In fact, if we didn’t feel so bad, then there would be no reason for us to seek God’s forgiveness.

That being said, I would suggest you pray – in whichever form you wish – make a prayer & from the depths of your heart, ask God for forgiveness. But first, I want you to forgive yourself. We all make mistakes. Sometimes mistakes serve as lessons in life to teach us and guide us towards the betterment of ourselves and ultimately to the path of heaven, InshaAllah.

Lastly, I’ll share with you a hadith from our Messenger, Mohammad, peace & blessings be upon him:

Narrated by Abu Huraira:
I heard Allah’s Apostle saying, “The good deeds of any person will not make him enter Paradise.” (i.e., None can enter Paradise through his good deeds.) They (the Prophet’s companions) said, ‘Not even you, O Allah’s Apostle?’ He said, “Not even myself, unless Allah bestows His favor and mercy on me.” So be moderate in your religious deeds and do the deeds that are within your ability: and none of you should wish for death, for if he is a good doer, he may increase his good deeds, and if he is an evil doer, he may repent to Allah.”

May Allah bless you with patience and strength in your imaan. I will pray for you also.
Amal

Original Post can be found here.