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Struggle for nothing

I have been in counseling for a long time. I’ve tried many different medications. I’ve seen different psychiatrists, doctors, specialists. I have tried herbal supplements, omega 3, acupuncture, massage, meditation/mindfulness, biofeedback. You name it! I’m starting to think I should just admit myself into the behavioral center again. But even THAT didn’t do me any good at all, besides giving me something to wake up for.

I think I’m at the end of my rope.

6 thoughts on “Struggle for nothing

  1. Dearest,

    Allah tests His favorite people. As everyone has said above, your struggles are indeed not for nothing. There is always a reason behind every thing that happens. Allah is indeed the Greatest of Planners.
    Sometimes we move through life at a snail’s pace which is okay. Try your hardest to focus on the smallest positives around you which can include a sunny day, a cool breeze, your health, your heartbeat, your family, etc. The positive does not have to be something major.
    I can also understand that being in counseling at times does not produce the results were are wanting as it is a slow process. However you being in counseling is a good thing. I would recommend asking your therapist if they know of anyone who does Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT). This approach helps people with learning specific coping skills that will help you regulate your emotions, tolerate stress, improve and have positive relationships and to learn to live mindfully versus on autopilot.
    Another thing I would recommend is to figure out ONE specific activity that you have always wanted to get into; be it art, cooking, writing, pottery, painting, whatever. But you have to invest your all in it and that will give you a sense of accomplishment which will in turn InshAllah improve your confidence.

    May Allah guide you through this rough patch. Ameen.

  2. Asalamoalaikum brother or sister,

    Can you please give more details about your situation ? Since I do not know your exact problem, I can just give you advice in general.

    As muslims we believe that everything that we face in life is by the permission of Allah. If something good happens to us, we should say ” Alhamdulliah ( Praise be to Allah )”. That means that Allah has blessed us and we are being thankful to Allah and Allah will reward you insha Allah.
    If anything bad happens to us then again we should still say ” Alhamdulliah ( Praise be to Allah )”. Allah is testing us with a trial ( Fitna ) and if we are patient ( i.e have Sabr ), then again Allah will reward us for it , insha Allah.
    So think of the smallest thing that you can think of and be thankful to Allah. The biggest blessing is that Allah has given you life so that you have a chance to earn reward, blessings and forgiveness from Allah.

    Sincerely,

    Your brother in Islam
    ( The Olive Tree )

  3. Salaam! Just wanted to say that I love these comments. I also want to echo the message that is being said…you’re struggles are NOT for nothing. It must feel so difficult to keep going, day by day, trying different things, and not feeling any better. Allah swt cares and loves for you, and even in this difficult time when it may not feel like it, Allah is still watching over you. You are not alone in feeling this way. You are, however, cultivating a great and deep level of patience which will definitely benefit you in the future.

    If there is a way you can remind yourself about happiness, even if it is just once or twice in the day, I hope that iA can help you as you keep taking the steps in your journey. I like to save certain pictures of inspirational quotes on my phone and look at them occasionally throughout the day. It is a small thing, but for the little while that I see it, it helps me a lot and is part of my self-care. One I like when I am feeling down is: “We must understand…how sadness is an ocean and sometimes we drown, while other days we are forced to swim” – r.m. drake. It reminds me that its ok when I feel like I am deep down in that ocean and drowning and that is it also OK when I can swim and push myself to make it through. With practice, you will become a better “swimmer”. You’ve swum this far, after having gone through so many different things, so I hope you can give yourself some credit for it and some credit to Allah for getting you through so far.

    I hope you can work on your self-care routine and find things that can help you continue on, and maybe even help you get better little by little. If nothing else, you will feel better by just learning how to cope.

    Sending lots of love and duas your way.

  4. Salam brother/ sister in islam,
    I’m sorry that you had to go through and experience so much. I have many peers who are dealing with the same thing, and they feel useless. They’ve pushed and pushed but they just want to give up. From experience, it’s not somthing easy. It feels impossible and so hard, but there is light at the end of the tunnel. My advise to you is to keep pushing, because you will eventually reach a point inshaAllah where you begin to feel good inside. Another piece of advice I will give you is don’t spare anytime for people who don’t uplift you and make you feel good, there is no room for that kind of negativityin anyone’s life, you are amazing and you deserve to feel that way!
    This will take time, so put your faith in Allah and you will get through this. Keep up what you’re doing!

    Your brother in islam

  5. Dear ‘Struggle for Nothing’

    I’m sure you’re going to be receiving a lot of responses. Your post is something that a lot of us at StB couldn’t empathize with more. I myself have struggled with anxiety, self-harm and attempted suicide in my past, and because of my experiences it is a topic that I feel very connected to. In real life, I have no issues speaking about it in public or to whomever, because I am (Alhumdullillah) at a point in which I am no longer ashamed, and confident enough to talk about my past in any situation. I didn’t somehow just acquire such a trait; it was something I observed from the plenty of other people whom I’ve spoken to when I was younger about my troubles. The people I confided in, those that would listen to me, who empathized and shared advice, all carried themselves as people who had issues in the past and shared their experiences so that others could learn from them. People who were long past the stage of their depression, and wanted to help those younger than them through it.

    There was nothing I wanted more than to find out what the secret was. I remember staying up through the night praying to Allah, asking me to show him what single thing I needed to do to make my life better. Believe me when I tell you, there is no secret. There’s no magical solution that will make everything better, there is no hidden formula to apply to your life that’ll turn it all around, nothing. And no matter how much we try to search for one, we wont find something that doesn’t exist.

    The thing about depression and anxiety, is that you’ll wake up every day hoping there’s an ‘off’ button to all the difficulties. You’re start to feel depressed with the immediate realization that such a thing is nonexistent, and then you’ll immediately feel anxious about how this will affect your day. From then its just a constant loop, and by the end of the day you feel terrible, only to realize that, after you sleep, once you wake up it’ll all start again. From my own personal experience, there is no worse feeling than that, and it is something I don’t think anyone would wish on their worst enemies.

    I humbly believe that there is a solution, though. It isn’t some magic secret that I personally wish existed, and I don’t intend to give you some vague, generic advice that I’m sure you’re probably already heard from others before. This advice is something that worked for me, and has changed me, for the better, over time, and its advice that I’ve derived from others that have had similar struggles but have, (Alhumdullillah), come passed that point.

    Try to make one, minor, positive change to your life that you can feel happy about and proud of. Something minuscule(ish) that wont completely change you, but something that will make your day better in some aspect. For example, my sister started doing morning exercises and took up make up artistry (is that a thing?) as a hobby. Before she started doing these things, you could tell she wasn’t enjoying life. But now, after she took those activities up, it’s nearly impossible to see her without an authentic, beautiful smile on her face.

    Personally, I tried cutting out coffee from my morning routine on my way to class (something about coffee felt depressing) and replaced it with a yogurt smoothie. I also stopped taking the Uni Shuttle and Local Bus routes and started biking, both of which somehow brought me down, but biking was far more relaxing and enjoyable. Small things that will make you feel better about yourself. If you make just one change, eventually, other changes that you may not even expect will follow along, and before you know it, you’ll start to feel like your life couldn’t be any better.

    Try making some small change, even if its just smiling more, or anything, and give it time. I promise you, it wont be long before you’re looking back and feeling proud of how far you’ve come in such a short time.

    SeeTheLight couldn’t have said it better. No one can say that Allahs Creations arent absolutely beautiful in nature. And its those of us who’ve had hardships that can feel Allahs love most. Firstly, because it means that Allah is testing us and believes that we can persevere through his test, but also because Allah sends no hardship without ease, and when what you’re going through is extremely difficult, we cant even imagine the ease that Allah has waiting for us once we get past it.

    Stay positive, and stay amazing you beautiful person.

    – That One Cat Lover

  6. Salaam Dear Brother or Sister,

    I’m sorry that you are going through such a difficult time, but at the same time I’m so extremely happy that you reached out to us. We are all here to support you! I personally had been through years of clinical depression, panic attacks and more. One thing I know is that you will feel so amazing and full of life once you cross over what may appear as an immense mountain in your life. Keep pushing ahead knowing that life will be more amazing than you had ever imagined!

    I know it can appear as though nothing is working, but now I realize, in some way, it’s kind of like going to school, where you may go for years and feel like how is this really going to help me in my life, but eventually as you get older you realize it really did make a difference.

    I tried all the things you mentioned, and even more for years, but alhamdulillah, I kept trying and eventually, even though life’s circumstances were still not the best, I finally internally started feeling, “Wow, this is my life and I’m going to make it awesome! Every day is a new day and Allah made me awesome and He gave me the ability to be happy no matter what life throws my way”

    And if anyone is making you feel like you aren’t the awesome amazing person that Allah made you, then that person has no place in your life! No human being has the right to say that any creation of Allah is not absolutely awesome! One thing I’ve realized is that it’s those of us who get depressed, etc are the best of Allah’s creations because the people who don’t get depressed are often the ones hurting others. So next time you feel down about yourself or someone makes you feel that way, remember, you are Allah’s awesome creation and you will make everyday of the rest of your life amazing!

    I know some of this might sound cliche, but I hope you can tell I really mean it from the bottom of my heart!

    Your loving sister in Islam!

    PS Check out some of the testimonials on this site and you’ll see how other people who were going through really tough times ended up so motivated and hopeful! Also, check out the Depression Article by Fatima and other posts on this website to see ideas that might help you overcome this seemingly huge mountain and see how amazing you will make your life, inshaAllah!