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Should my family move?

Asalaamu alaikum. I am a 17 year old Muslim girl. I am ashamed to say that I am from the United States, where Donald Trump was elected president last night. I live with my parents and cat.

My brother, who lives out of the country for work, says he is extending his stay. He also told us that we should also think of moving, preferably to Canada. My mother and I like this idea very much, but my father is harder to convince. How do I convince him?

JazakAllah Khair for your time.


Salaam,

I want to say this first that Allah is the best Planner and we as Muslims should always turn to him especially when in such times of distress. It is our belief that events and things happen when Allah SWT wills it. Secondly, I am not happy about the results of the US elections however it is no longer in my control, so I cannot expect myself to get worked up about it. What is in my control is how I cope and look ahead. I know and believe with all of my being that Allah SWT is always with me and is always protecting me and my loved ones.

What you are feeling is absolutely natural and normal. As human beings we are constantly afraid of the repercussions of events around us that can potentially make our life difficult however Allah SWT is not cruel.

I can tell you this that any decisions made right now will be emotional and impulsive. I would recommend praying Salaat-e-istikhara and seeking Allah’s guidance so that you and your family can make the right decision for everyone. I hope and pray that Allah SWT keeps you and your family and all American Muslims safe (ameen). Be strong and have faith in Allah.

Take care,

Your sister in Islam,
“Fatima U”

—-

Assalaamu Alaikum wa Rahmathullah wa Barakatuh, 

You and your family are certainly not alone in feeling the need to leave the US. Especially as Muslims, many of us are already dealing with the negative consequences of this election including hate speech and hate crimes. Nevertheless, many of us are also experiencing a flood of apologies, and are being told that not only are we wanted here, but that we make this country a better place. We need to remember that at the end of the day a President was chosen, not a Dictator. The president’s power is limited and there are various checks and balances embedded within the structure of our democracy. This country is not perfect, but for many of us it is home. It is where our loved ones live, where we go to school and where plan on establishing our careers. As Muslims it is our responsibility to help establish justice for the oppressed no matter where we are. 

If you are experiencing a great deal of bigotry and racism, I know it can be isolating, overwhelming and lead to hopelessness. With the protection of Allah, however, I wanted to highlight other options or coping that you and your family may possibly consider. 
1) Reach out to your Muslim brothers and sisters, your family and other minorities who are experiencing the same overwhelming feelings. Share your fears, shame, pain and grief. Allow yourself that time to heal. 
2) Reach out to Muslim organizations such as CAIR so that you can be prepared in dealing with discrimination and hate. They even have lawyers at no cost to us in case we need them. 
3) Reach out to neighbors and non-Muslim friends or allies. Being in their presence and having conversations will restore the sense that there are good people in America and that we are not completely surrounded by people who hate us. 
4) When you have the strength reach out to neighbors who are different from you. Offer some cookies and tell them you are scared for your safety and wish to have a conversation that will promote understanding and unity. At the end of the day. Democrat, Republican or Libertarian we are all human beings that want to feel understood, connected and safe. 
5) Reach out to Allah subhanahu wa ta ala and ask Him for protection, safety, and relief of our anxieties. Ask Him to change the hearts of those who feel hate towards us and to replace that hate with understanding and love. 

If you feel living in the US is not ideal for your family and that it would be the best option for you to move, explain to your father why you feel this way. Ask him if it is reasonable/realistic for him to transfer or find another job in Canada. Ask him why he feels it is not a good idea to move. Finally, pray Isthikhara so that Allah will guide you and bless your decisions. 

I pray that Allah protects us and make this post election time easy for all of us, to help us find the strength to fight for justice, and to help us find solutions that will promote love and understanding between all of us. 

Sincerely, 
Your Sister in Islam,

“Fatima V”

2 thoughts on “Should my family move?

  1. Assalamu Alaikum,

    I totally understand how you feel. When Trump was elected, I thought about my kids and the future they would have here. So, i totally understand what it means to think about having to move.

    I do not live in your family system so I cannot tell you what is best for you or not. But, i can tell you that just as you and your mom are having fears and concerns, your dad is also going through some emotions as well. Maybe the first step can be to talk to him and get at the underlying reasons he has for staying here? Why does he really want to stay here? Why does he think that is a better idea than moving? Maybe he has some sound reasons?

    After getting to the heart of it with him, then you can start working on those reasons with them. Maybe you find out that he really is just afraid of change and starting in a new place- after all, for adults, it’s hard to start their life over again. If that’s the case, then maybe showing him the real dangers you feel or reassuring him that he will have a support system, that will help him feel better?

    It also could be that he just needs to see how you feel–showing him stats and numbers about the incidents going on nowadays could help him see your point of view? Just somethings to think about.

    At the end of the day, it’s not about where you are staying but who you are with–your support system. You could be in a new place- but if your dad is upset there, then that wont be healthy for you either. Lastly, Trump can plan but Allah plans better- find solace and comfort in Him 🙂

  2. Asalamoalaikum Sister,

    I know that you want to convince your father to move to Canada. Before you do that, I would like to share something with you. Everything is in the hands of Allah. Allah lets things happen. There is wisdom in the way Allah works. We may not understand it but Allah is the best planner. Put your trust in Allah and see what happens. You do not have to leave the country. If people around you are making it hard for you to live then go to a different neighborhood, that should be sufficient. Going to another city or another State would be the next step, but I feel that there is no need to leave the country. Be strong. My prayers are with you.
    Regards,
    The Olive Tree