Music
Salam, I am 14F who lives in Australia, and I’ve been struggling with the concept of how music is haram. First of all I want to say that I don’t listen to music, and thats not whats bothering me. While I don’t consciously open a playlist and listen to music, I’m sad and annoyed that when I watch movies, tv shows, or youtube, theres almost always background music. I don’t watch explicit movies at all, nothing inappropriate. The majority of movies I watch are healing, cozy, and a way for me to unwind I just really struggle with the fact that as I’m enjoying myself, I’m gaining sins over and over and over. even if the videos or shows help em to improve myself or give me advice, in my subconscious all I can think about is how I’m gaining sins, I’ve only been experiencing this recently
I’m very much an introvert. I don’t really spend a lot of time with family because we always end up fighting, I’m always in my room and i love my room, I’m obsessed with aesthetics and self-improvement so I’ve made it quite a nice haven for myself. My family and my country are not that religious, but I’m trying to properly practice. I think if I were to try to quit movies or videos lol I wouldn’t be able to survive. Firstly I would alwasy be tempted becasue my laptop has easy access to everything. Secondly my friends/parents would say I’m being too extreme and would probably think I’m going crazy. Thirdly I think I would go crazy. Yes of course I have hobbies like reading, art, crochet, planning, stuff like that but I almost always watch something when doing specific hobbies (except for reading ofc) This situation is probably petty and not serious but I’d appreciate if you could give me any advice <3
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Response from a “Fatima Counselor”:
Waalaikumussalamvarahmathullahivabarakathuhu my dear sister,
Thank you for explaining your situation so honestly. What you’re describing is actually a sign that your heart is alive and you care about Allah. That matters!! I’ll try to answer you gently, clearly, and without pushing you to extremes.
You are 14, trying to practice Islam in a non-religious environment, with family tension, and you’re sincerely worried about sin. Allah sees all of this. Allah says: “Allah does not burden a soul beyond what it can bear.” (Qur’an 2:286)
Feeling constant fear that everything you enjoy is stacking sins is not the goal of Islam. Islam is meant to bring peace not mental exhaustion. What you’re experiencing sounds very close to intrusive religious anxiety, where the mind keeps repeating “I’m sinning, I’m sinning” even when there’s no clear intention to disobey Allah. About music: there is scholarly difference, especially on background music. This part is very important. Yes, some scholars consider music haram. But many respected scholars have distinguished between:
Intentional music listening for enjoyment. Incidental / background music in movies, videos, or public places. Unavoidable background music that you are not seeking, not focusing on, and not enjoying for its own sake does not carry sin, especially when avoiding it would cause hardship. You are: not choosing music, not opening playlists, not watching inappropriate content ,not focusing on the music itself.
This matters a lot in Islam. Actions are judged by intention. You are not intending to listen to music. You’re intending to relax, learn, heal, or unwind. Islam does NOT require you to make life unbearable.
Islam is not: Quit everything or you’re sinful, Live in constant guilt. Destroy your mental health to be religious.
Allah says: “He has not placed upon you in religion any hardship.” (Qur’an 22:78)
If: quitting movies would make you mentally unwell, isolate you socially, cause constant temptation or make people around you think you’re harming yourself. Then that level of restriction is not required of you. A very gentle, balanced approach you can take .Instead of “all or nothing”, try protective balance. What you can do: Watch clean, healing, cozy content. Accept background music you cannot control. Focus on the message, not the sound. Say quietly in your heart: “Allah, You know I’m not seeking this. Please forgive what I can’t avoid.” That prayer alone is powerful. Just a few options: Lower volume slightly if it helps your heart. Choose content with minimal music when easy .Use subtitles sometimes. Watch Islamic lectures or podcasts sometimes (not replacing everything).Do not force yourself. Forcing often leads to burnout and resentment.
About feeling like you’re “gaining sins over and over”. This is the part I want you to hear clearly: Allah is more merciful than your thoughts about Him. You are not being recorded as sinful every second for something you: didn’t intended .You are trying your best with.
In fact, your struggle itself may be rewarded. The Prophet ( SAW) said that a believer who struggles and finds things difficult receives double reward.
About your room, aesthetics, and self-improvement .This aligns with Islam. “Allah is Beautiful and loves beauty. “Self-improvement, rest, creativity, healing content ,these are not un-Islamic. They help you stay emotionally regulated in a home that feels stressful.
If your thoughts start feeling like: Everything I do is haram ,I can’t enjoy anything, Allah is constantly angry with me. That is not Allah’s voice. That is anxiety. When that thought comes, gently say: “Allah knows my heart. I am trying. He is Merciful. “And move on. Don’t argue with the thought.
You are sincere, young, trying in a difficult environment, not indulging in haram intentionally, seeking closeness to Allah.
Allah does not punish people like this. He lifts them. You’re doing much better than you think dear sister.
Warm regards,
From your Sister in Islam,
“Fatima MV”
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