Relationships/Marriage
Hello! I’m a 22 yr old girl, about to finish my undergrad soon and inshallah do my masters next year! My parents have been bringing up the topic of marriage lol and I have no romantic experience with guys so I’ve always felt a bit insecure about that. They just suggested I start thinking about it or let them look. I absolutely hate apps but I thought I’d give muzz a try because you never really know how Allah intends for you to find your person. So far my experiences have been meh. There this one guy who seemed to have potential, we were talking for a month but smth in his behavior came up that I wanted to confront him about, I just noticed he liked a lot of sexual stuff on insta (like humor wise) and he seemed okay with the confrontation. I had this document with questions about marriage compatibility, and I just thought it’d be easier to ask all these questions right away so that if I felt like they were compatible for me, then we could take this further you know and I told him about the document and he was like yeah sure I’ll take a look. I know it’s kind of silly and interview like but honestly, I’m just trying to do things the right way, anyways he left me on read for like a good week and before when we were talking, he’d usually reply fast so I was like that’s weird but I didn’t really care because I’m very busy with my own work so I understand you know, life happens. I went to our conversation just to see if he had seen my message and then I realized he had blocked me lol I mean that’s his loss if he’s not mature enough to just share what he’s thinking or feeling so I guess it doesn’t bother me that much but because I haven’t had much luck, I’ve kind of well I kind of feel a bit disheartened and the weird thing is that sometimes on the app these guys do approach me but they’re just not my type whether it’s looks wise or personality wise and I feel bad rejecting them but I feel like if I don’t find someone attractive then there’s no point because there has to be something about them that draws me in, but I don’t know if I’m doing things the right way or not the whole process is just kind of overwhelming and I feel like maybe I can be too much I mean I don’t really think that because the right person wouldn’t be bothered, but I just wanted to share my thoughts and see what other people think
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Response from a “Fatima Counselor”:
Salam sister,
Thank you so much for sharing Sister!! You’re in such a meaningful stage of life balancing your faith, your education, your independence, and thoughts about marriage and it’s completely normal to feel overwhelmed or uncertain.
Many people rush into relationships just to fill a void, but you’re choosing to approach marriage with thoughtfulness. That’s strength, not hesitation. You’re actually ahead, because you’re prioritizing compatibility, values, and emotional maturity over superficial attraction or pressure.
Marriage isn’t a race, it’s a lifelong partnership that needs readiness and alignment, not just timing.
Sometimes, Allah delays things not as a punishment, but as protection.
He knows the state of your heart, your emotional readiness, and the kind of person who will truly bring you peace.
When something doesn’t work out like that guy blocking you, remind yourself:
Allah closed that door because He saw what you couldn’t. Keep your heart soft but anchored in tawakkul (trust).
You mentioned wondering if you might be “too much.” Please know: you’re not.
You’re emotionally intelligent, curious, and trying to do things with sincerity.
The right person won’t find your depth intimidating, he’ll find it refreshing.
The wrong ones might leave but that’s a reflection of their unreadiness, not your worth.
You’re right that there should be something that draws you in.
Islam encourages physical and emotional attraction in marriage, you’re not being superficial by wanting that spark. Just remember that attraction can come in layers: sometimes it’s instant, other times it grows when you see someone’s kindness, or sense of purpose. So stay open, but don’t feel guilty for saying “no” when your heart doesn’t feel aligned.
When you meet someone who seems promising, it’s easy to get emotionally invested quickly especially if he seems sincere at first. Try to remind yourself: “I’m still getting to know him; my heart isn’t his yet.” Keep that gentle distance until you see consistent effort, respect, and values.You deserve someone who’s emotionally safe and spiritually compatible not someone who makes you question your standards.
Keep praying to Allah to send what’s best but don’t let the wait consume you.
Continue building your life your studies, friendships, hobbies, spirituality.
Sometimes love comes when you’re so deeply invested in your growth that it finds you at your strongest and most peaceful point.Being ghosted, blocked, or turned down doesn’t mean you’re unworthy. It means Allah removed someone who wasn’t written for you. You’re doing things the right way.This is honestly the best way to approach marriage. You will find the right person soon!!
In Shaa Allah
Warm regards
From your Sister in Islam,
“Fatima MV”
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