Anxiety Struggles
Dear Fatma I am struggling with fear and anxiety I feel like Islam is too heavy for me I’m using drugs to cope but I am tired I am afraid to pray everything is scary morning every day should I quit I am tired. I’m struggling with anxiety in the morning afraid of everything my life has stagnated I take drugs to stablelise but I am tired of this struggles I feel like Islam is too heavy for me don’t know what to do I’m afraid to marry have children pray all of that every day in the morning.
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Response from a “Fatima Counselor”:
Asalaamu alaykum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuhu,
I can feel the exhaustion and heaviness in your words. I can imagine that it may have taken a lot from you to reach out for support. The intense dread and overwhelm can feel paralyzing, and so many of us silently carry this kind of weight. I want you to know that there is hope, and you’re not alone.
First, let’s understand what’s happening. Anxiety is the nervous system reacting to protect us from perceived threat or danger. So, if a burglar breaks into your home, the nervous system signals a fight, flight, or freeze response. Meaning, either you will attack the intruder (fight), run away and avoid (flight), and if neither is a safe option, then you may become immobile, numb, or dissociate in the face of the stressor (freeze). Sometimes, our body can overreact to non-dangerous things. For example, you described feeling a freeze response toward the pressures and worries about making prayer and getting married. While the pressures can feel crushing, it’s not actually a threat to your life. Nonetheless, it feels scary, and it may be accompanied by thoughts or beliefs that this is beyond your ability to cope.
The truth is, that there are many options that you can try to cope with, manage, or even befriend your anxiety. Really, anxiety is just like an overprotective sibling. It means well, but sometimes it can be overbearing, and we need to let it know to take a backseat and that we will be taking the wheel. Take a look at this list and consider what may be helpful to you:
1. Reframe prayer from an “obligation” to a “conversation.” Use it as a means to confide your pain and struggle to the One who loves you and gets you. Give yourself permission to come to Him as you are.
2. Call out your anxious thoughts. These are based on possible future scenarios that the mind creates- They are not facts. By identifying them, you are creating space between yourself and the thought, reducing their power and influence. Here are ways you can call them out: “Here comes a ‘what if’ thought” or “I’m having the thought that I’ll fail” or “Anxiety, I know you’re trying to help, but I got this.”
3. Illicit drugs can increase anxiety levels. I am not sure if in your post you meant you were using illicit drugs or if you meant anti-anxiety medication. If you are taking illicit drugs with the intention to relieve your symptoms, it may actually be exacerbating them, and I encourage you to seek support with a mental health practitioner.
4. Increase movement to release the anxious energy in the body. Walking, yoga, stretching are all great options. I invite you to try somatic shaking which can be helpful in releasing stagnant energy and create an emotional release.
5. Release tension from the body. When the body is relaxed, it sends a signal to the brain to shift from the “fight, flight, freeze” response to the “rest and digest” response which can quiet our thoughts as well. Try this Progressive Muscle Relaxation exercise.
6. Cut down or eliminate stimulants like caffeine, sugar, and nicotine. Coffee, tea, energy drinks, chocolate, candy, vaping… These can heighten the jittery and panicked symptoms. Different people can have different sensitivities. So, for some, even one cup of caffeine or a little bit of chocolate may induce anxiety symptoms for a long period.
7. Visit with your PCP and get blood work done. A Magnesium deficiency can increase symptoms of depression, anxiety, agitation, insomnia, and irritability while a Vitamin D deficiency can manifest in fatigue, muscle weakness, and mood changes. If you find that there is a deficiency, you can adjust your nutrition or add supplements.
8. Gently do the work you’re avoiding. Let the bare minimum be enough for now, and just do your fardh prayers. When we avoid that which is scary, we give the fear more power; however, when we confront our fear, we gain confidence.
So maybe your fears won’t subside right away, but your courage can rise beside it. Reach out to your support system and remember that The Ultimate Supporter, Allah (swt), is always near. When your heart pounds, your hands tremble, or your mind races, say the du’a of our beloved Prophet (pbuh): “O Allah, I take refuge in you from anxiety, and sorrow, weakness and laziness, miserliness and cowardice, the burden of debts and from being overpowered by men.”
With du’as and deep care,
“Fatima SA”
Resource: Grounding Exercises: Anxiety Skills
Response from your friend at Stones to Bridges:
Salaam my dear brother/sister,
I hear you and I feel that you have a lot going on in your mind. Anxiety can be paralyzing and it’s something that isn’t easy to overcome. It seeps into every aspect of one’s life, and depending on the severity, it can make it difficult to maintain basic societal relationships. It might help for you to question where is your fear coming from, is it because you feel that you haven’t achieved much so far and have no prospects? Fear is a hard thing to navigate because just like anxiety, it too can be paralyzing and may not always relate to reason. Our fears are one of the many parts of us, and often it is used to protect us from any incoming (or possible) incoming harm. Your fear and anxiety may be a part of you, but they are not YOU. It may help you to think of these attributes of fear and anxiety as two little characters inside you who have loud voices. They both are looking to protect you but don’t know they best way to go about it. It’s important to create the environment where you can turn the characters’ volume down and allow your own voice to speak. You may find it helpful to journal or even write down a couple of key terms of how you’re feeling if journalling isn’t your thing. Jotting down terms such as, “anxious, uncomfortable, shaky…” may help offload some of those swarming thoughts/feelings.
I wish you the best in your healing journey. I pray that you are able to overcome these feelings of fear, anxiety and exhaustion and that it allows you to blossom into a healthier and happier version of yourself.
All the Best,
Your Sister in Faith,
Peer Support Volunteer, NL
Here are some additional posts on this topic that you may find helpful: https://www.stonestobridges.org/2021/03/30/struggling-with-everyday-tasks/ https://www.stonestobridges.org/2023/08/18/dealing-with-constant-pressure-in-religion/ https://www.stonestobridges.org/2024/08/28/anxiety-overthinking-worry-about-mom-unable-to-understand-my-studies/
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Habiba K
I would like to share a valuable resource that can be of help. It is the Millati Islami recovery program. It offers support for individuals working to overcome addiction, all within the framework of Islamic values and teachings. Meetings are held online via Zoom, and there is no pressure to reveal your identity. You can keep your camera off and even use a different name if you prefer. You can learn more and find meeting times here:
https://millatiislami.org/pre-2025-site/index.php/millati-islami-groups
Habiba K
Assalamu Alaikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuhu Dear Sister.
My heart goes out to you as I read your words. It takes immense courage to express such deep struggles, and I want you to know that your feelings of fear, anxiety, and being overwhelmed are heard and understood. The fact that you are tired of this struggle and want to change is a significant first step, and it shows incredible strength within you.
Many people who are deeply overwhelmed by life’s challenges sometimes feel that even their spiritual practices are too heavy. So, you are not alone in feeling this way. You are not weak, and Islam was never meant to crush you, it is just that somehow, things have been made harder than Allah intended. And feeling like it is all too much is okay. That does not make you less faithful, it just means that you are honest and in need of care. That matters. You matter.
I want to commend you for opening up about using drugs to cope with your situation. It means a lot, and that kind of honesty is a powerful step toward healing. So, I want to encourage you to seek professional help. Please make an appointment with a doctor or therapist as soon as possible. They can support you in managing your anxiety and guide you in safely transitioning off the drugs. It may also be helpful to explore working with a culturally sensitive therapist, someone who can better understand your experiences and offer support on multiple levels, in a way that feels more comfortable and affirming for you.
Please know that Islam is meant to bring peace and ease, not distress. The struggles you are feeling are not necessarily from Islam itself, but from the anxiety and internal battles you are fighting. As such, I want to please encourage you not to quit Islam. I know it may not be easy to see at the moment, but it is your anchor, your source of hope, and your path to ultimate peace and healing. I know this from my own experience. Even in your darkest moments, Allah is there waiting for you to turn to Him. This is a test but also know that Allah tests those He loves. He wants to draw you closer to Him, to open doors of immense reward for you. And remember that Allah does not burden a soul beyond what it can bear. So, you got this, you have the strength within you to overcome the challenges and be triumphant. Take it a moment at a time while holding on tight to the rope of Allah.
We are not meant to pray out of fear of being crushed or rejected. Prayer is supposed to be a safe space, a connection to Allah. If praying feels scary and overwhelming, that is okay, start with what you can manage, no matter how small. But please do not abandon your connection to Allah. Just sitting and making du’a to Allah, pouring out your heart, can be incredibly therapeutic. Talk to Him. Even if it is just saying “Ya Allah, I am tired.” You also can try listening to the Qur’an, if reading is too much. Strive to make dhikr; simply repeating “SubhanAllah,” “Alhamdulillah,” “Allahu Akbar,” “La ilaha illallah,” or “Astaghfirullah” can bring peace and calm the mind.
Trust in Allah, believe me He has the best plan for you. And do not think that you are removed from Allah’s Mercy or that He will not hear you or respond. The Mercy of Allah is greater than anything. Remind yourself of that constantly. He knows your pain, your exhaustion, your fight. He loves to forgive and lighten burdens. Do not let anyone or anything convince you that Islam is too hard or that things are too far gone.
Your fear of future commitments like marriage and children most probably stem from your current anxiety and feeling overwhelmed. As you start to address and manage your anxiety, these fears will likely diminish. But your current priority should be your well-being. Take things one step at a time. Focus on healing yourself first. When you are stable, stronger, and more at peace, you can then consider these significant steps in life.
Please, be kind to yourself. Treat yourself with compassion and patience. You are going through an immense struggle. If you can, seek out a trusted imam or scholar for spiritual support. And if you feel safe doing so, share what you are going through with a trusted friend or relative. Just having someone to talk to can make a world of difference.
Hold on to this truth: Your current state is not your permanent state. There is hope. There is healing. There is a way back to peace and contentment. You may be tired, but you are not defeated. You are not alone. You are allowed to take one breath at a time. You are not your anxiety, and you are not your addiction. You are not a failure. You are not too far from Allah. He has not let you go, so do not let go of Him. You are allowed to be Muslim and still be figuring things out. You do not have to carry the whole religion at once. You are dignified, you are worthy, and you are strong.
May Allah grant you complete healing, remove your fears, replace your anxiety with tranquility, and guide you to a life of peace and closeness to Him.
Your Sister in Islam
Peer Support Volunteer Habiba K