Masturbating addiction.
So I’ve had a porn/masturbating addiction probably since I was 12/13, I’ve realized a while back I shouldn’t be doing this, but here I am, 3 years later, still doing this, even in Ramadan whilst fasting I’m doing it, I’ve missed 8 days now just from masturbating and porn, I also haven’t properly prayed for like 3-4 years and I keep telling myself that I’ll first work on my mental, but It’s just never gotten better. I keep telling myself that I would stop but nothing ever came from it, I would love to be a actual good Muslim since for me being a Muslim is the absolute minimum a human should do to be “normal”. And I can’t even do that. I recently even told my parents about it but they think I’m having “wet dreams”, they don”t know what masturbating is so at the end I just felt super embarrassed about it, I wanna prioritize getting rid of my porn and masturbating addiction but I don’t know where to start, some people tell me to start praying but I can’t if I have to keep doing ghusl and me telling myself “I’ll work on my mental first”. I truly think that I’ve been one of the worst Muslims out there. At school I’m supposed to be the wonder child and I tell everyone stuff like “No i don’t masturbate” or “If you’re ever in trouble just pray” But I’m clearly lying to myself, I even lie to my parents about all of this and praying, which is the worst, It’s been like this for 4 years or so and I can’t deal with this, I need a actual way to stop myself from watching porn or masturbating like right now. I’m at the point where I even save videos for just incase the wifi goes out or something, I’m absolutely disgusted at what I am as a Muslim, I feel ashamed even calling myself a Muslim, but I want to be proud of that. Thanks for reading.
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Response from a “Fatima Counselor”:
Assalamualaikum my brother,
First, I want to say: I hear your pain, your shame, and your sincere desire to turn things around. You’re not alone in struggling with this, and it doesn’t mean you’re a bad person or a “bad Muslim.” Addiction ,especially sexual addiction is extremely difficult to manage, and the guilt you feel often makes it even harder to take the first steps. But change is possible, step by step.In Shaa Allah.
Right now, most of your energy goes into self-condemnation. Feeling like a “failure” for years has made it harder to act. You’re human, and addiction doesn’t define your faith or worth. Try to frame this as: “I have a problem I need to work on, just like anyone trying to improve themselves.”You don’t need to fix everything at once. Start with manageable goals.Remove the triggers. Delete saved videos, block adult sites, or install filters on your devices. Make it harder to access porn even for a moment of “just in case.”Create distance. Avoid being alone with your phone or laptop in private spaces where temptation is strongest.If you feel the urge, try to postpone for 10 minutes, then 20. Even small wins help rewire your brain.
Engage in physical activity, reading Qura’n, dhikr, or something mentally absorbing when urges strike.Even if you’re struggling with ghusl or missing prayers, Islam values intention (niyyah) and gradual return.Start small with Salah: Begin with two prayers a day if five feels impossible. Even one prayer a day is a huge step.Trying to pray perfectly while caught in cycles of addiction can feel overwhelming.
Make sincere dua: Ask Allah for strength to stop, even in your own words. Addiction is not a sin that Allah refuses to forgive.He loves sincere repentance.Prophet Muhammad (SAW)said:
“Every son of Adam sins, and the best of those who sin are those who repent.”
Keep busy with remembrance of Allah. Every small act counts.Recite short, powerful phrases like
“Astaghfirullah” (I seek forgiveness)
“Allah, help me resist this”
“I will not let this control me”
Even 5 seconds of focused dua can redirect your mind.Cold shower or splash cold water on your face.
Quick exercise: push-ups, jumping jacks, or a short walk.
These redirect physical energy away from sexual tension.
Address the mental health side.
You’ve mentioned waiting to “work on your mental health first,” but these can go together:Therapy or counseling: Even one-on-one sessions can help address shame, triggers, and underlying trauma. Sexual addiction often has deeper emotional roots.Confide in someone you trust (a counselor, mentor, or Imam). You don’t have to tell everyone; just one supportive person helps.Online groups or programs for Muslim youth struggling with pornography can help ,you’ll see others fighting the same battle, reducing shame and isolation.
Track when urges happen, what triggers them, and how you feel. Awareness is key. Remember: relapse doesn’t mean failure.Stopping overnight is rare. Even a small period without porn or masturbation is progress. Reward yourself for small victories and forgive yourself when you slip.Intention matters.
Allah knows your struggle, your sincerity, and your desire to improve.May Allah make things easier for you . Aameen!!
Warm regards
From your Sister in Islam
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Disclaimer: If this is an emergency or involves potential harm to yourself or others, please call 911 or the National Suicide Prevention Helpline at 1-800-273-TALK(8255). The information that appears here is not meant as a replacement for proper care from a mental health provider. Click here to read our full Disclaimer.
