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I don’t know what I’m doing with my life and I don’t know when it’s going to get better

I don’t know what I’m doing with my life and I don’t know when it’s going to get better

Dear Fatima,

For the past month, I have been trying to get closer to Allah. I have been through an immense amount of emotional pain. I feel like no one wants to be around me and I’m just too annoying. I have been praying day and night for weeks hoping that things will get better, and it hasn’t. I love Allah so much but I’m so confused during this time, I just don’t know when things will get better. A friend of mine is isolating themselves from everyone, not just me, and I did reach out for help but they seem to just space from other people. I respect the fact they need space, this has just been affecting me so much emotionally for some reason because I care about them so much. I really do wish to give them as much space and time as they need, but I inadvertently take it personally and it has just been so hard to get back on my life and do things that I need to do to get better. I don’t know Arabic, I don’t know how to read or write Quran, and I have been praying through youtube tutorials. I have no one in my life to reach out to personally about this who is Muslim. I really do love Allah, but I’m just so confused and I just don’t know what to do.

As Salaam Alaikum, Dear sister

I am so sorry you are going through such difficult times, but I want to say it takes much bravery to reach out for help and I am thankful you did. Feelings of isolation, especially during these very trying times, are real and complicated to maneuver through. These are very universal human emotions that are complex and unique to each person who is experiencing these emotions. Here are some things you can do to help manage these emotions:

  • Although this might be difficult with things being physically distant, consider community service or another activity that you enjoy. These situations present great opportunities to meet people and cultivate new friendships and social interactions, even at a distance.
  • Focus on developing quality relationships. Seek people who share similar attitudes, interests, and values with you. Sometimes we outgrow old friendships and that’s ok, meeting new people might help us grow in ways that we need in that moment.
  • Exercise: running, biking or even walking for 20 minutes a day can really help with these emotions, as it releases happy endorphins.
  • Seek a professional in your area: sometimes we just need to talk to someone on a regular basis, try to find a therapist in your area that you can connect with that can help you manage these emotions better.

Your friend that might be isolating herself from everyone and may also be going through similar emotions or other things. All you can do for others is offer to be there for them, and inshaAllah when they are ready, they will reach out. We cannot force anyone to do anything, but we can maintain our availability for them.

I think it is so wonderful how much you love Allah (swt) and how much you want to please Him. It shows in all the efforts you are putting forth to build that relationship with Allah (swt). “And your Lord says, “Call upon Me; I will respond to you.” Quran 40:60. Continue to pray and build that relationship with Allah, he will answer. Also, I want to mention it is ok to read the Quran in English, oftentimes as you do this you might even pick up some common words in Arabic and slowly start learning how to read Arabic.

In these last few nights of Ramadan, I will make sincere dua’a for you, that Allah swt help you through these times. May He shine nur on your life and bring you closer to Him in your efforts.

MaSalaama,

Your Sister in Islam,

“Fatima SD”