Finding Good friends and problems..
Assalamu alaikum sister. Im 14.Thank you for your reply for my recent letter. It helped me. May allah help you too ameen. I have a non muslim friend. Which I would say she’s a good listener not a talker. She listens to me whatever I tell her like no other. She even told me that she would get bored or exhausted if I don’t talk. She likes me talking to her. She has a good view on islam too she’s a hindu. She respects islam and even we share stories about religion but she’s the one who listens a lot from me. She is actually attracted by Christianity but she agrees that Jesus [Peace be upon him] was a muslim as u told what the word “muslim and islam” means. But she seems that she doesn’t understand the concept of Tawheed. The oneness of God. I really want her to enter jannh with Me, I want her to be a muslim. I want her to follow which is the truth. Also she’s coming to my house which is nearby school because her parents go to work and they can’t pick her up on time, so she would stay in my house and at evening her mother or father may come and get her to her tuition center and to home. This made me happy so that I can talk with her about islam. I asked her one day that if she got a chance to become a muslim, she would be one or not, she said yes. But I think what’s stopping her is the consequences she would face after it. But she doesn’t understand the oneness of allah. She says that everyone has their own religion and Gods. How can I explain to her? And I cannot go out to find Muslim friends because as I told you my parents won’t allow me to as my area isn’t that much safe. How can I find such friends? Today also a incident in my school happend. I wanted to take a break from school today but my parents doesn’t wanted me to. they pushed me to go school even though I was really tired. This is because due to some reasons, I have took many Leaves [breaks] from school. And my teacher also warned me to come school regularly so that I can study by coming to class and to write final board exams [ because the attendance to school is important or else they won’t allow me to write exam and I have to be in 10th grade again] . I got to school today and I was Extremely exhausted my eyes felt heavy and my body parts felt pain one by one. First my chest second my wrist. I told the teacher and she told me to ask the Staff in the office. The staff asked me to try a tablet on. And I did. I felt really sleepy after it. I slept and my maths teacher came. It was a maths test. I lied down on the table. My teacher asked my why I was lying down my friend told me that I’m sick. My teacher just told something like “Making excuse like having pain huh” [I don’t know what he said exactly but his is what I’ve heard] and I woke up suddenly and he told me and a girl [who was also lying down due to her getting hurt in the head cut she hit herself on the table] that this is the last time to rest in his class and not to do this again. But if we want to lie down by any reason like being sick,tired etc. We should ask the office teachers and go home or sleep on the stage on a chair outside. I just hated it. Wanted to cry but I forgot that situation.. want to go somewhere else where I can be at peace but can’t find it here but in the hereafter. Please reply me to help me make the stones into bridges to allah.. barakallahu feek.
Response from “Fatima Counselor”:
Assalamu ‘alaykum,
I’m glad that the previous reply you received was helpful to you. Alhamdulillah!
You brought up two separate issues: Your friend, and Your pain and how people respond to it.
Regarding your friend, there is no need for her to consider whether converting is right for her right now. She can continue learning and the two of you can encourage each other towards good. You can learn from her about what’s working for her and how the two of you can live a brighter future. Over time, it will become clearer what her path might look like, and she will do what her heart guides her to when she is in a safe situation.
Regarding your pain and how people respond to it…. I’m sorry you are finding yourself in such an invalidating environment. I know you shared with me some of the physical challenges that you are having and sometimes those are physical and sometimes they are ways our bodies are reacting to our emotions. Since it sounds like you are not in a safe environment to do that much work on figuring out the emotions you feel on a day to day basis, it’s best to hold onto a few things that can keep you going so you can make it to adulthood. Some of those things might be:
“Even though other people don’t accept my pain, it is real for me”
“I accept my body and love it for all that it’s doing”
“I ask my body to guide me in how to take care of it better”
“Allah created me exactly the way I needed to be, and will guide me to how I keep growing”
You can choose any of these, all of these, or something totally different. Reminding yourself with love and compassion will provide you the strength to keep moving forward, one step at a time, until you get to a stage in life that you can make more active choices about the direction your life will go.
May Allah be with you,
wa ‘alaykum salam,
Sincerely,
Your Sister in Islam,
Fatima “FM”
Response from your friend at Stones to Bridges:
Walaykum assalam dear sister, it is wonderful to hear that the response to your previous post helped! Masha’Allah, speaking with your Hindu friend about Islam is wonderful and I love that you have such noble intentions as you would like to be reunited with your friend in Jannah. May Allah allow you both to be in His Jannah Firdous, ameen! You may find it helpful to give her a Quran, and talk about Surah Ikhlas. Don’t try to overwhelm her with so much information at once, try finding a good time and place to talk about it. Ask her if she has any questions and create a friendly dialog between the two of you. It is important to remember that at the end of the day guidance is with Allah. Allah (SWT) tells His prophet (SAW) that even the messenger cannot guide whoever. Our job is to counsel, advise and inform about Islam. It sounds like you are doing a great deal of this, Masha’Allah!
Feeling exhausted and having body pain when you are at school could be linked to anxiety. If you get these feelings often, try asking your parents to see a doctor, explain to them that you have been feeling these symptoms frequently and it is affecting your everyday life. If you are feeling anxious try different ways to calm yourself, breathing exercises, reciting your favourite ayah/surah, writing..etc. There are many ways to go about this, you can find something that works best for you.
I hope these pieces of advice were helpful to you. May Allah bless you with the best of this life and in the next and save you and your loved ones from the punishment of the fire, ameen.
