I want to love
Salam.
I am a 22 year old Muslim man and I have been struggling with being motivated to continue striving each day. I actually work quite hard and have achieved quite a lot in my academic and professional career, but I find it hard to keep pushing through as I deal with chronic pain. I have a few conditions that have been affecting my life the past few years. It feels as if the knob of difficulty has been turned to twice the normal amount for every aspect of my life.
I think before walking to another spot in the room or house to ask myself if it’s worth it to move there before deciding ‘yes, I need to go there’, or ‘no, its not worth the difficulty, discomfort, and pain’. Another primary symptom I have is severe fatigue. Many times, it can be extended for long periods of time or come in short bursts, making it hard for me to plan for the day. Nowadays, before any endeavor, be it a project for fun, work, or a passion project, the cost of doing it seems to always outweigh the potential benefit I might get of creating or building something.
I thought I could simply go about life in the same way, trying to manage my symptoms as best I can; eating, sleeping, and exercising to the best of my ability. I thought if I allowed myself to just take breaks whenever I needed to and to ensure I don’t overwork myself, I’d be able to get back into the groove of things, just slower and with a little more difficulty. But it has been hard to do most things. I see doctors all the time and honestly just managing the appointments and medicating alone can feel exhausting, even though I am blessed to be able to access amazing medical care. I keep thinking I can think my way out of this and that it shouldn’t be this hard, I shouldn’t be feeling like this, and that many, many people have it much worse than I do, which is true. But that doesn’t seem to change things.
The worst part is I feel I’m getting further away from Allah. I was much better in my prayers and now its much harder to make each prayer on time. I could do it if I tried but I think the trying part of me is broken. Someone told me I have motivation but I’m just spending it on other things and maybe that’s true. Maybe it’s all spent trying to eat and rest up a lot more, hoping that rejuvenates my body better and that it removes the heavy brain fog I live in.
I love the beautiful things Allah has made. The sounds of poetry, the scattered rays that make it through all the layers of leaves, the architecture of a building and the awe that comes from seeing massive creations. It makes me feel motivated and inspired but before I know it, that feeling is gone and I look to see every single aspect of life as an endless task unworthy of my time and effort. Allah beautified this world and I don’t want to hate everything about it. I don’t want my heart to curse everything it sees and to ONLY imagine and yearn for what is in Jannat. I want my heart to see Allah in every single thing in this world, to magnify the love he has placed in His creation, including the stars, the animals, the trees, the people around me, and myself. I want to love others for the sake of Allah and love myself for the sake of Allah. Somewhere along the line, a bulk of my happiness and optimism was shot down and I don’t know when and where, but I know it’s essential to Islam.
Sufficient for me is Allah and excellent is the disposer of affairs.
Thank you for submitting your post to Stones to Bridges! We pray you will find the responses below beneficial. If you find these responses helpful, we’d love for you to share what you appreciated and how you feel it might help you moving forward in the comments section below!
Response from a “Fatima Counselor”:
Salaam Aleykum and thank you for having the courage to reach out.
I understand that you have medical challenges that feel overwhelming. Only you truly know what the physical, mental and emotional toll feels like. And despite this, you have achieved a lot academically and professionally – this is commendable! You didn’t give up. And you are still able to enjoy the blessings and beauty of this world. This shows your underlying resiliency and grit. Even though it might FEEL like you can’t do more, remember, God does not test you with more than you can handle. So keep doing what you can do, and when you need to, allow yourself to just listen to your body, and rest.
Your body is just one part of you, the part we tend to be tuned into. Remember, you are also a spirit (Ruh), and when you are aware of, and operating from this spiritual center of consciousness, then you are able to feel inspiration. When you marvel at the Majesty of creation the way you describe, you are connecting to the Divine. You are not getting further away from Allah. He is closer to you than your jugular vein. He is the ALL MERCIFUL. When you can’t pray on time because of your physical suffering, remember His Mercy is with you.
It’s okay to use your physical energy for the basics of survival – just do it with self-compassion, and love. There is no need for any guilt. Be kind to yourself. You need this.
The source of your self-compassion is your Ruh (spirit), so try to dwell in that space. The Ruh is a living energy, it takes you through your entire existence, and it is connected to God Almighty. So be aware of this superpower inside of you!
And in parallel continue to do everything medically wise, to treat this illness. Have you considered joining a support group for people with chronic pain and fatigue? It can help to know that you are not alone, and sharing coping skills can help. Certain breathing and grounding techniques can also help with pain flare ups. Do what you can, physically, to help your body, and remember your spirit, filled with Divine Light, is with you to help you through the journey of life.
May you join with your own inner Peace and Light.
“Fatima FL”
Here is an additional post on this topic that you may find helpful:https://www.stonestobridges.org/2026/08/07/anxiety-struggles/
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