Masturbating addiction part 2

Assalamualaikum Brother!! I can understand that what you’re dealing with right now is heavy; emotionally, spiritually, and mentally. And I want to be very clear about something upfront: You are not “back to floor 1.” You built 14 days of control. That doesn’t disappear because of one bad day or a family conflict. That progress is real. What you’re going through right now is shame, fear, pressure from family, and trying to change yourself at the same time. Anyone in that situation would feel shaken…But let me separate a few important things.

About Allah’s forgiveness (this is very important) What your mother said “Allah will never forgive you” is not true in Islam. Allah says in the Qur’an that He forgives all sins if a person turns back sincerely. Even repeated sins can be forgiven if you keep returning and trying again.
Using “Wallahi” wrongly is serious, yes but it is still forgivable with repentance. So your situation is not “over.” You are not rejected. In fact, the fact that you feel guilt and want to return to Salah is a very strong sign of faith still being alive in you. You are not at Floor 1 brother.


Threatening to “get rid of you” or expose you is not okay. Accusing without proof and escalating like this creates fear, not change. This is emotional pressure, not healthy guidance. This doesn’t mean your mom doesn’t care, often it comes from fear or misunderstanding but the way it’s expressed is harmful to your recovery. So right now, your priority is not convincing her. Your priority is stabilizing yourself. Handling your parents in this situation is less about “proving you’re right” and more about reducing conflict, protecting yourself emotionally, and slowly rebuilding trust. Right now, things are heated so the strategy is calm, simple, and consistent. Don’t argue when emotions are high. Understand their mindset (so you don’t take it all in). Their reaction likely comes from: Fear about your future, concern about religion, Cultural shame around these topics, misunderstanding of addiction. But it’s coming out as: Accusation, threats and harsh words. This doesn’t mean they are right it means they are reacting emotionally.

Try to tell yourself: “This is their fear speaking, not the truth about me.” Right now, they don’t trust your words. So don’t try to fix things with words. Fix it with small consistent actions: Do small chores without being asked. Keep your tone calm (even if they’re not). Follow basic routines (sleep, hygiene, etc.). Avoid obvious lying (even small things like brushing teeth). If they bring it up again. Don’t go into details about your struggle. Keep it simple: “I know I made mistakes. I’m working on myself.” If they push more:“I don’t feel comfortable discussing everything, but I am trying to improve.” Repeat calmly. Don’t change your answer. What your mother said about harming you is serious. Even if said in anger, that’s not okay. If you ever feel: Physically unsafe or things might escalate. Please reach out to: A trusted adult, School counselor or local support services. You deserve to feel safe, not afraid.

If your parents check your devices First, accept this mindset (it reduces anxiety a lot): “I can’t fully control what they do but I can control how I respond.” If they take or check your PC: don’t try to snatch it back, don’t act overly defensive, don’t over-explain quickly. That can make them more suspicious, even if there’s nothing there. If they confront you, Keep your response: Short, calm and non- detailed. Say: I understand why you’re concerned. I’m working on myself. I don’t want to argue about this. If they accuse say, “That’s not what I want for myself. I’m trying to improve.” Islamically and emotionally: You should not lie. But you are allowed to keep private sins private. Be honest without exposing everything. In future, avoid storing anything questionable on devices. Use devices with purpose (not late-night isolation). Keep usage more “visible” for now (reduces suspicion). If they threaten to tell others, this fear is very real. If it happens: Stay calm (even if internally stressed).
Don’t react aggressively it can escalate things. You can say: “This is very personal. I’m trying to fix myself. Please don’t share it.” Even if they don’t fully listen, you’ve responded with dignity.


You already did 14 days that’s huge. That means you can do it. Right now, don’t aim for “never again.” Aim for: “I will get through today.” When urges spike (especially after stress): Change environment immediately (don’t sit alone with your thoughts), Cold water on face or short walk. Keep your phone, PC use in open, shared spaces as we explained in the previous post. Delay the urge: “Just 10 minutes” (this works more than fighting directly). Urges peak and fall like waves. If you don’t act, they pass.


Now you’re thinking, “I need to fix everything before I start praying.” That’s backwards. Start praying even if you are struggling. You don’t need to be perfect to pray. Salah is what helps you get better, not a reward for being perfect. Even if you fall again, you still pray. Start small: Even 1 Salah a day consistently is better than none. Build slowly.


Trust rebuilds slowly through patterns, not one conversation. Your fear is real, but notice: Right now, it’s anticipation, not reality. Even if something is discovered, it would be painful but not the end of your life. Try to ground yourself: “Right now, I am safe. I just need to handle today. ”What matters most right now is not perfection. Not proving yourself. Not fixing everything. Just this: Stay clean today. Pray even if it’s imperfect. Don’t let shame convince you that you’re finished. Because you’re not.


You managed 14 days before this crisis. That means your progress is real not fake, not temporary. This situation didn’t erase that brother. It just made the path harder for a moment. Everything will be fine soon. In Shaa Allah!! 


Warm regards,

From your Sister in Islam,

“Fatima MV”

Salaam dear brother,

I’m really sorry to hear of the struggles between you and your parents. It must feel extremely frustrating to make progress in your journey to overcoming your addiction only to be met with these setbacks. However, I encourage you not to think of what happened as a setback in your journey but as a means of springing yourself forward on your path. You were able to go two whole weeks, that’s 14 days—almost half a month without watching pornography! This is amazing and proof that you are able to untangle yourself from the web of addiction.
I wanted to comment on a part of your post that stood out to me. “My mother told me that because I lied and used “Wallahi” in the past, Allah will never forgive me. This has crushed my motivation to start praying again.”

One thing I want you to know, brother, is that our parents, family, friends, society itself cannot speak on who Allah will forgive or not. That knowledge is only with Allah. He forgives whoever He wants—and says so in many places throughout the Quran. We do not have a say in who will or will not be forgiven by Him.

Remember this ayah- “When My servants ask you ˹O Prophet˺ about Me: I am truly near. I respond to one’s prayer when they call upon Me. So let them respond ˹with obedience˺ to Me and believe in Me, perhaps they will be guided ˹to the Right Way˺ ” (2:186).
Not to get too technical, but I had watched a lecture, and the speaker, when discussing this ayah, mentioned that the Arabic word used for ‘call’ is singular. Meaning that even if you call on Allah a single time, He will respond to you. There are no qualifications that you must be a certain kind of person to receive a response from Allah. Remember this, my brother, when you feel that your prayer won’t be accepted/that you are not worthy of it.

May Allah ease your difficulty, grant you strength, and help you transform into the best version of yourself. Know that you have the resilience to continue this journey, and I am confident that you will continue making meaningful progress.

All the Best,

Your Sister in Faith,

Peer Support Volunteer NL