Feeling distant from deen and I don’t know where to start
I’m a 22-year-old from Pakistan, living in Islamabad. I’m currently in my 3rd year of studying psychology. I’m originally from a village where people don’t practice Islam much. We have drifted far from the deen, and shirk was part of our family’s way of life. Alhamdulillah, Allah guided me. While I was in college, I left shirk and started praying. But I was never consistent with my prayers, and right now I don’t feel like praying at all. I don’t know why. I live here in Islamabad with my brothers and sisters. In the future, I want to become an Islamic life coach. But this also gives me anxiety, because I keep thinking, “If I’m like this myself, how can I help others?
Assalamu alaikum sister,
I hope you’re doing well. I wanted to share something I’ve been struggling with, and I would really value your advice and duas.
Lately I’ve been feeling very distant from deen, and it’s not what I want. I don’t feel like praying anymore, and I’m caught in some sins that I want to leave but can’t seem to. I’m not sure whether I should try to leave them all at once or one by one.
Apart from that, I feel tired most days. I scroll on my phone a lot, my mind feels full and overwhelmed, and I find it hard to wake up early. Even when I do, I don’t enjoy it. Things that used to make me happy don’t bring me joy anymore. I also keep comparing myself to others and feeling that everyone is better than me. I get angry over small things, which was never like me before.
I don’t want to stay like this. I want to come back to Allah and to myself. If you have any advice, or something that helped you in a difficult time, please share it with me. And please keep me in your duas.
JazakAllahu khayran.
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Response from a “Fatima Counselor”:
Salaams,
It takes alot of strength and courage to disclose your inner thoughts and vulnerabilities, so I start with commending you for that! Although you feel like you are distant from the deen, please remember, Allah is as close to you as your jugular vein. The fact that you say you want to find your way back to Him, proves that you are not distant. You just need to re-orient yourself back to Him. This can be done in easy small steps. What makes you feel good about Islam? Can you think of one Quranic ayah, one hadeeth, one prophetic story, one Asma ul Husna (Beautiful Attribute of Allah), any practice at all, that makes you feel the Grace that comes with God consciousness? Try to include this one thing into your daily life. The important thing is to do it consistently.
In the same way, pick one of the sins that you mention, and avoid it for a few weeks. Detach from that behavior and replace it with something wholesome, that makes you feel good. Too much screen time is linked to depression, so do something else instead. Can you color in a mandella pattern? Pick a book to read, or go out for a long walk? Can you explore a new hobby and exercise a few minutes a day? In the beginning you will need will-power to force yourself, but daily and weekly small changes can help shift you. Please start a daily journaling activity where you write down something you like about yourself, something you like about the world you live in, and something you can look forward to? Again, be consistent with this journaling – as you slowly re-program your mind and start seeing the good in you and around you.
Please get a check-up with your family doctor, to see if you have any deficiencies in vitamin D, B, iron, or thyroid? These are common problems that can lead to low mood, low energy and irritability. Tell yourself that it’s time for self-care now. And you ARE closer to Allah than you think. You carry His Peace and Light in your spirit. And you will share this with alot of people when you become the Islamic Life Coach that you aspire to be 🙂
From,
“Fatima FL”
Here are some additional posts on this topic that you may find helpful: https://www.stonestobridges.org/2026/09/28/i-dont-know-anymore/ https://www.stonestobridges.org/2026/09/10/my-iman-has-completely-disintegrated/ https://www.stonestobridges.org/2026/08/07/anxiety-struggles/
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